Funky Buddha

Went to Funky Buddha last night. Although none of my friends were over 21 they let us in, which I thought was quite nice seeing that it's so pretentious etc. £20 entry is quite expensive, taking into account the fact that the club's so small. We didn't book a table, so we had to stand for most of the evening until we hung out with some people who had booked a table (lucky them). It's insanely overpriced, so unless you find some crazy rich folk to buy you drinks, you are pretty much screwed. Luckily for us, we found such people. The bouncers were great, so were the rest of the staff. One of the barmen was amazing - he bought my friends and I 2 shots, which was cool. Overall we had fun, but if you want to have a great time there book a table... and you'd better be loaded!

The bouncers are rude and unprofessional. They made up excuse after excuse not to let me in, while I was on the guest list and 8 of my friends were already inside having paid the £20 cover charge. They are frustrated, brainless and powerless creatures who abuse their right of decision to waste people's nights out.

The only thing I didn't do right: I followed my friends through the open red cord (opened by one of the bouncers) after they had come out to greet me. When the bouncers called me I came back to them without any rebellion and they told me to leave because I was drunk (I had had two beers)... There was no queue at all either (at 11.30pm - wow, so popular!!)

Avoid this place at all costs.

No problem getting in (very friendly on the door) and had a wicked night. The music was great - a guaranteed great night out!

I had a terrible experience yesterday at this club. It was an Arabic night and I had organised a night out for 12 people, all tickets paid for. At the door, one of our girls wasn't allowed in because she had a citizen's card for ID. I tried to reason with the doorman, who then decided he wasn't going to let me in either. He wanted me to apologise for 'disrespecting' him. I couldn't believe it - I never raised my voice, I didn't use any profanity, I just put a point across.

Funky Buddha is a great club. I have been many times, and this was my first ever refusal of entry. So embarrassing. I've been reading reviews from the public though, and I see I'm not the only one complaining.

Anyway, we ended up going around the corner to Mahiki and we were let in by the doormen who gave us no problems. The 23-year-old girl that couldn't get in to Funky Buddha got in to Mahiki. I spent £400 and as a group we probably left about £2000 at Mahiki. I will not be going to Funky Buddha again or recommending it to anybody I know.

The venue is nice and I have met some rare beauties there, but the DJs are the worst I have seen on the London scene. I have been there two times, two different DJs, both of them should be fired on the spot. They completely lacked any sense of rhythm, there was silence between the tracks... having the music from a compilation CD would have been so much better.

Drinks are also very expensive, and be sure you bring cash because they have a £20 minimum spend policy. What's worse, they charge you a good 15% more if you use a card.

This place would not be out of place in the centre of Romford, as that is where most of the clientele come from. A place for chavs, old men, escorts, and Eurotrash. Avoid!

I went there for my friend's 18th and we had a great time! The music was good, pretty much every song we liked, it was mostly hip hop, r'n'b, chart and house. I don't think it's worth £20 to get in, as it is very small and the toilets are pretty crap. I didn't buy a drink as they were bought for me, but you're looking at around a tenner. We were on the guest list and they didn't even ID any of us. Overall, I don't think I'd want to go there again but I had a good night - it's nice to say you've been there.

I don't even know why people complain - you expect to pay top money for drinks. Even normal West End clubs cost £8 a drink and £170 for a bottle of vodka. They are all cheap vodkas too, but you should already know this.
I have to admit, I've been to this place twice and I personally don't like it much, it's too small. Wouldn't recommend.

I had the most fantastic time in Funky Buddha this weekend with 11 other friends. The staff were friendly and amazingly helpful, the bouncers were polite and smiling, the music was fabulous and, yes, the drinks were expensive but it is Mayfair! We paid for the VIP area and it was well worth it (all they required was a minimum spend of £500 - easy between 12). I would recommend anyone to go, and I will definitely go back! The preacher below seems to think not being white caused problems getting in, but it was certainly no problem for us.

Yep, actually managed to get in this place and I ain't white - an even bigger hurdle! But I knew what to expect: expensive drinks and kak music! That's exactly what I got, so I can't complain! But for you prospective visitors, give it a miss.

Where do I start? Absolutely disgraceful. I reserved a table at Funky Buddha for a party of 20. On our arrival, we found that the tables were tucked away in the darkest corner of the club, behind the bar. We could not believe it. We then were introduced to our hostess, who carried the sourest face I have ever seen.

When we thought things could not get any worse, we ordered a bottle of vodka. Now I don’t mind paying high prices for good quality, but when you get charged £180 a bottle, then do not walk out with something you can purchase at Tesco’s for £9. You guessed it, they served the cheapest most rubbish vodka. This was the final straw.

I complained to the manager about the service, but clearly the manager was in a relationship with the hostess since he jumped quickly to her defence, as opposed to addressing the situation.

The place is tiny, the manager and hostesses clearly do not understand customer service, the drinks highly overpriced... Don’t bother. This place is not worth it.

If Buddha taught that enlightenment could be attained by casting aside greed, hatred, and delusion, and 'funky' has something to do with being passionate and soulful, then this is the most inappropriately named place you'll ever set foot in. It is instead a grotesque embodiment of our vacuous celebrity-obsessed culture.

If you're able to get on a guest list, willing to queue for an hour, and pass the scrutiny of the door staff, you'll then be relieved of £20 before descending into what is essentially a basement. The club is small, and made even smaller by large portions of it cordoned off into 'VIP' areas, leaving no seating whatsoever unless one is willing to book in advance and pay handsomely for the apparent privilege of sitting down. The decor is bland and cliched to match the music, and the bar gratuitously overpriced, with a bottle of average supermarket liquor costing hundreds of pounds. Such extortion nontheless succeeds by exploiting the deluded belief of the aspirational clientele that they're not in fact being swindled but instead buying themselves into a social elite by being there.

Went to the Funky (overpriced, overcrowded, pretentious) Buddha last night and I can honestly say that I will not be back. After waiting an hour, we got in. Feeling like one of the privileged we made our way downstairs to what I can only describe as a club the size of a public toilet. We found an area, dropped our handbags and made our way to the bar. "Let's just make the most of it", the husband says. I ordered two vodka and cokes, "That will be 21 pounds please". Was it special magic vodka? No.

After two hours of making the most of it, dancing elbow to elbow and arm pit to arm pit, one of the Buddha people demanded that our group of 14 move. When we looked questioningly at her, she repeated her instruction: "MOVE!" The reason was unknown - maybe someone from Brookside had arrived, I don't know. When I challenged this order, the employee started holding her ear and mumbling into a hand piece. Then 6 big burly men ran in. I thought, "OMG! There must be a bomb, or are they strippers?" But no, they were there to escort us off the premises.

You may think "No, they must have been drunk or abusive." But with drinks costing over a tenner each, there wasn't much chance of that. Anyway, that was my experience of FB... make your own mind up.

Was in Funky Buddha last Tuesday night. The new FB is definitely fabulous - very classy and cosy. Expensive door price is really immaterial - that's the amount you have to pay to enjoy a great club where you're sure to have a fantastic time. I will be back.

Went to Funky Buddha last Saturday and was greeted by friendly door men. Music (house) was shockingly bad however, but after a few expensive cocktails I relaxed and found myself dancing away to some R'n'B. Dance floor was extremely small for the amount of people in the club. I wasn't drunk enough and noticed that the same music was being played over and over. I was convinced an i-pod was plugged in, but my partner (who was sober, as he was driving) spotted the DJ. Oh my god, a DJ and bad music?? YES!

Overall, I was pleased not to see drunk teenagers inside. Next time, I will get a table so I can sit down and give my dancing feet a rest when the bad music comes on.

The refurb is just great. And the music is better than ever. The door staff are super as usual and bar staff wonderful. Always good to come here for a great night out.

WOW! 'Refunked' I think they call it... Went to Funky Buddha last Friday after hearing they had spent some money on a refurb. I partied with a cool crowd, the gorgeous waitresses actually knew how to serve, and the music was, well, FUNKY!! The place definitely has come back. After being a regular a couple of years ago, if they keep the music and the crowd it's TIME TO PARTEEE AGAIN! I'm back!

We all had a fantasic night. The door staff and bar staff are lovely. The drinks are a little pricey but very generous and, let's face it, it's okay to spend lots now and again! The music was fab, everyone in there was well dressed and not at all stuck up. All in all, a great night out!

About as close to perfect as a club can get: great DJ (maybe a touch repetitive but hey); expensive door price at £20 but the door staff were friendly (one of my friends was in Converse and they were understanding that he didn't know the dress code); once in, beautiful girls and great cocktails with a real kick await; temperature's not too hot and decor great. All in all, a guaranteed good night out.

Have had great nights out at FB. Nice staff and management, really friendly. If you want to have a good time there, it's really simple: book a table and be nice. Please don't moan about the price of drinks. Yes, it's expensive but if you choose to visit bars and clubs in Mayfair (one of London's most expensive areas) then you must expect to pay through the nose, just like in any other city. Don't believe the hype - check it out for yourself.

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