Mo*vida

The woman greeting you at the door with her fake fur and clipboard must think she's got it. She is right, she's got the bad hair extension and the old skin of a failed model. And why put on a posh accent when you are just a door girl with a clipboard?

The bouncers are rude and too many. I have never seen so many staff in such a small place; in fact, they outnumber the clubbers. These are mostly rich kids, Eastern European girls, and C-class footballers who would otherwise be low-life crooks. The music is soulless and the mixes are bad quality. Movida is not the place to relax, it is a place for nouveau rich, for people with no class and bad attitude. All VERY tacky!!

Appalling. Classless behaviour by the bouncers on the door and over inflated self opinion. I would never go there again, they are simply too rude and with no good reason to be. Bungalow 8 is better by leaps and bounds.

Total waste of time. Booked a table which was 'confirmed', only to arrive and be told that we were confirmed on a waiting list and that we couldn't get in. The person who had taken the booking was completely useless and made no attempt to rectify the problem. Who do these people think they are, confirming bookings, letting you turn up, and then turning you away? STAY AWAY.

I second terry33, this club has gone straight through the roof. Where do all these chavs and thugs with Phantoms come from? We are not talking hedge fund money, that is for sure. Avoid.

Mo*vida - what a load of RUBBISH. Crap music, very rude door staff... Don`t waste your time going, there are much better clubs out there than this.

More pretentious than some of the wannabe clientele is the staff - they are awful, awful awful!

I know this club seems to attract either a 1* or a 5* rating, so it seems fair to say people either love or hate Mo*vida. I was lucky enough to visit on Saturday night with a group of 9 friends (5 guys, 4 girls). Now, for the record, we are by no means pretentious gold-diggers, using daddy's credit cards etc. Simply a group of pals, including a teacher, hair dresser, royal navy officer and a journalist, all out for a good night in a different location to what I am used to. Therefore, we fully expected the expensive drinks (though £9 for a huge Hendrick's Gin really isn't that bad!).

Yes, I agree, the dimmed lights, superman soundtrack and sparklers that accompany the bottles of Cristal are extremely cringe-worthy, but if you're not into that, then just do as we did and have a chuckle to yourselves at those poor people - they're not bothering you after all.

Entry was no trouble, though we had booked on the guest list in advance. After a couple of drinks in the bar/restaurant area, we spent the next few hours on the dance floor which, albeit busy, was not overcrowded as described below.

Bottom line: if Mo*vida isn't your usual club, don't be deterred by some of the negative reviews - it's gonna be expensive but anyone who now lives within 50 miles of London should really be used to this. If, like me, you only venture onto a dance floor when suitably oiled, then simply have a few drinks before you venture out, then dance away in this very classy club.

The worst club I've ever been to. Very pretentious and totally hideous.

Mo*vida is a money-extracting venture for those with a comic lack of class and sophistication, from an owner who knows neither.

Please don't let these desperate nouveaux riches distract you with their Cristal bottles; people with genuine class/money stay well clear of these venues. Mo*vida, Chinawhite and the like are strictly for mid-ranking money brokers, style-less tourists, and Z-list celebs (former wannabe page-3 girls, ex-Blue band members, etc).

Going inside is like walking into Del Boy's bedroom after he won the lottery. I've seen better taste in an episode of Crossroads. The screeching, bussed-in-from-Milton-Keynes crowd were drowned out only by the sub-Now 18999 soundtrack; seriously, I've heard more credible 'tunes' on Magic FM. Truly vile.

Dance floor is a bit small, so if you don't have a table you're kinda screwed as there is nowhere to sit and chill or chat. Drinks are pricey, staff are OK/nice (if you're a big spender). Come on, let's be honest, it's overhyped, full of pretentious people, and when it gets crowded it kinda sucks.

Look, let's be honest, all these clubs are rubbish! So why do you lot go?? You know they're going to take the piss on the door with your good selves, so like myself don't bother.(I have been to all these 'wannabe' clubs and they kak! Big names like Paper and Funky Buddha, they just play roulette with your night. So fix up!) Tip: look outside central London.

I don't know what everyone is fussing about, because Mo*vida is incredible! You just don't know how to have a good night! I'm a girl that goes regularly and I am not a gold-digger and I'm definitely not some kind of high class hooker. I go with friends and always manage to have an amazing night.

Yeah, so what it's full of rich old men? You don't have to talk to them. If you're the kind of person that's bothered about these kind of crowds, then don't bother coming to Mov because EVERYONE knows what they're letting themselves in for when they walk through that black door...

I agree there's a few Essex girls hogging the bathroom mirror that really deserve to be kicked out. But then again, they never have a table, they're just moping around by the bar or trying to steal drinks from our tables, for which the bouncers always sort them out!

Anyone that thinks they will go and get picked up by some rich sleaze and live their life rich and happy ever after is stupid because these men really aren't like that in general. They're also very conscious about gold-diggers, so don't go expecting to pick up a banker, a sheikh or some kind of Russian mafioso.

Basically Mov*ida is amazing. You should know what you're getting before you go; if you're not into that, then stay clear! As for the rest of us: WE. LOVE. MO*VIDDDAAAAAA

This is definitely not a place to have fun.

I love a nice glass of champagne, but not in the company of fat 40-year-old men and chart music. Just so over and done with.

The place is much too small for all the people, unless you're a VIP. And don't forget to take your credit card - it's extremely expensive. But the guy I went with was very cute, so the night was ending good!

I had one of the most bizarre nights I've ever had in here last Wednesday. We were in quite early and already a couple of girls were dancing, although there's not even a dance floor. The decor of the place says 'lounge bar', the music was house (not too heavy) and people were dancing like they were at a rave! All very odd, but certainly entertaining. Clientele was a mix of East European girls, Hollyoaks wannabes, city boys, rich kids (or rather kids with rich daddies) and old geezers. Bar staff were friendly and good at their jobs, but how on earth can £20 for two vodkas with mixers be OK?... and 15% service if you pay on a card! Get real.

If anybody tries to tell me I didn't have a good time here because I don't have enough money, they would be very much mistaken - I have plenty. The problem with this place is the clientele, nothing else - not the drink, prices, music etc. It's so annoying that all those chavs who live in places like Essex come and spoil the night and ponce off those people who atually can afford it. The reason the prices are so high is to keep out those of you moaning about them!
If you don't like it/can't afford this place, the answer is simple - DON'T COME!

I love it! I always have amazing nights here. The best table is in the far corner of the VIP. Good music!

Amazing club, fab people, great host. Thank you for a fantastic night!

The rudest and most arrogant staff I have ever experienced. The attitude of the staff at this place affected the whole vibe, and the night was doomed from the moment we stepped through the door. The crowd also left much to be desired. The music was fantastic, though not good enough that I would go back. Just not worth it.

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