The Cuckoo Club

Swallow Street
Mayfair, London
W1B 4EZ
Tel: 020 7287 4300 Piccadilly Circus 0.2 miles

The Cuckoo Club brings 5,000 square feet of rock chic to the West End, on the site of the former Stork Rooms. The 2 floors offer Modern European food, a basement cocktail bar and club with an LED-studded dancefloor ceiling and a star-studded members committee.

7.30pm-3.30am

The Cuckoo Club London LED ceiling in The Cuckoo Club's bar, London The restaurant at The Cuckoo Club, Swallow Street « 1 of 3 photos »

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The Cuckoo Club reviews

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Agree with the reviews below stating that the negative reviews are people who've either not got in or have not understood the concept of members' clubs such as Cuckoo. This club has the greatest crowd in London! Someone mentioned below that it's full with toffs. Maybe a club in Essex would be more suitable... The staff, crowd and music are all fantastic and although I've not eaten in the restaurant, I only hear good things!

Useful review?
 by David Delmonte, 21 Nov 2010
Lovely restaurant venue and food, but unfortunately it stops there. Both the lady at front desk and and the waitress in charge of our table seriously lacked etiquette, style and grace. The portions are tiny and they constantly fill your glasses to the brim with wine and costly Voss water. At the end of the meal, when your time is up, you're thrown off the table.

The night club is even worse. I have never seen a more unfashionable and badly dressed crowd of people. The boys are toffs and the girls don't even wear expensive bad taste, it's cheap and unsophisticated all the way. Such a shame, as this club could be so much more...

Useful review?
 by elise1, 11 Oct 2010
Full of under-age drinkers and rude staff. Worst London club I've been to.

Useful review?
 by nataliep1, 26 Sep 2010
Cuckoo is such a poor place - heavily crowded, very rude management staff, filled with Eurotrash, drinks highly expensive, music too loud, full of drunks and pickpockets. Not a place for a good night out.

Useful review?
 by perosky, 20 Jul 2010
Brilliant private members' club. Good-looking people and fantastic music. The food was light and fresh and the cocktails so delicious. I recommend going there if you want a great night out, surrounded by lovely friendly people and cracking tunes!

Useful review?
 by Emma Swindle, 30 Apr 2009
Horrible. Don't go here. The staff are horrible, it's overpriced and the music is rubbish. Go here only if you want to be ripped off and surrounded by Eurotrash.

Useful review?
 by 123gs, 08 Nov 2008
Simply the best club in London - good music, wonderful staff, superb food - I call this my second home. They don't tolerate idiots... and there's a lot of them that try and get in and don't succeed. Yes, you have to look 'cool' to get in, but that doesn't mean you have to wear Gucci or Prada or be carrying a wad of money - it's more of a cool vibe thing. Get there before 11pm and you stand more of a chance; arrive after 12 and you'll probably end up queuing the rest of the night.

Useful review?
 by bigdog (2 reviews), 30 Jun 2008
I was there last night. The place is small, music horrible, and drinks far too expensive.

Useful review? 2
 by kalinka25, 22 Jun 2008
I snuck in through the smokers entrance one evening, whilst 100+ people waited in the queue shouting to someone they half knew near the front. Once inside the dancefloor was full, the music banging. But nobody really dancing in fear of breaking a sweat. A very well dressed crowd, lots of money about, but it lacked the spark which makes the party go. A few of us injected it, and it spread, had a great night. But once you see past the money, expensive drinks, and the people there, it's the same music I hear in my student union, and it isn't that differently decorated either.

If clubs were cars, and your Student Union was a Ford Fiesta, this is the Ford Probe. And while it'll cost near the same and you'll have a good time, it'll never be a Ferrari.

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 by mr_crossingham, 04 Jun 2008
Loved every minute there.

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 by donpeters (5 reviews), 10 May 2008
I had heard so much about Cuckoo, so I decided to book a table for dinner with my clients who came from Germany. I cancelled a table at Paper and Embassy because Alice from Cuckoo Club called me and said I could have a table at 8pm on Sat 12th April. We got to the club at 7.55pm and were told we had no table as it was given to a member!? I asked why this was so and they said it was the club's policy and I should have been informed!! Which I wasn't!

We were left with no reservations on a Saturday night, and the staff at Cuckoo were most unhelpful and very rude. They had this pompous, 'too bad' attitude. I will tell everyone of my experience and warn them to never go back. Places like this should be boycotted. They make their money from their patrons but treat them so badly. Anyone making a reservation here, beware! Don't bother with this place!

Useful review? 4
 by dentan, 16 Apr 2008
It's a very good place to have fun in, in particular if you know the staff and have been there a few times. Downstairs is, in my opinion as a regular, nothing special - except for an above-average spectrum of music genres (ie not only happy house/dance). Upstairs is more of a restaurant-turned-nightclub, which gives a great feeling of the Mediterranean and its many flavors. Very expensive cocktails though, even for London standards, so keep to champagne bottles or drink aplenty at the pre-party. Superb selection of eye candy for every taste and age (well, as long as you're below 40).

Useful review?
 by ormsson, 13 Dec 2007
I feel compelled to write this review after reading so many of the comments below which, similarly to reviews of other members' clubs, all follow the same pattern. To those of you that wrote these, I have to ask – what will actually make you happy?? If you went to Cuckoo I can only assume that you have been to a members' club before, or at least went with friends that have, and therefore should have had a rough idea of what to expect. For those of you that are yet to venture into Cuckoo (or any of the similar venues), please understand the following. In these clubs there is always and will always be all, or at least a combination of, the following: overpriced drinks, rude door staff, wannabes, people that think far too much of themselves and, of course, the obligatory slightly overweight, overaged men using their wallets to get attention from women that really should know better.

If you can, get over it! Cuckoo is an awesome club, it has a great atmosphere, brilliant music and a crowd that knows how to party, and if you can’t make it on a week night Fridays and Saturdays are still good (unlike most West End venues!). If you can’t help but let some of its less desirable qualities ruin your night, go somewhere else – there are plenty of clubs in London.

Useful review? 1
 by AlexF, 04 Nov 2007
Great place, and I agree with review below. Rated top club on A SmallWorld, which is a high-end network. Take bad reviews with a pinch of salt. This club is consistent and full of the right people. Reviews claiming they saw chavs were obviously by people who'd been left outside or were taken to Movida and told it was Cuckoo. The best in London, no doubt!

Useful review? 1
 by sammy22, 01 Nov 2007
Reviews are usually written because people want to vent some anger for a bad experience they may have had. I am prone to only writing about a place that I have had a bad experience with. What stands out to me in the reviews below is the contrast between people having an amazing time to others having the worst of their lives. I went to the Cuckoo Club last Saturday for dinner and then drinks, and have decided to write this review to convince others on what I feel is happening with these reviews.

My dinner experience was truly fantastic! The food is excellent and I cannot fault the carpaccio nor the scallops that I had. The ladies I ate with felt the same way about the oysters and the beef wellington they had. The service was exceptional and the atmosphere was perfect. The surrounding tables consisted of a Tatler/Esq crowd and, although eating with 2 beautiful women, my eyes could not help but venture onto the women on the surrounding tables.

As the night progressed, I moved from the restaurant to my table downstairs. On the way I waited in the reception for the rest of my group to join from outside. This is where I feel a lot of the negative reviews are originating from.

There must have been 200 impatient people outside, all thinking they are somebody and judging from the crowd may have been, trying to get in. My guests were made to wait as others were allowed in but this was efficiently handled and me and my guests were understanding and happy with how we were treated. I did notice one thing however, which seems to be a policy of this club - if you look right and are part of this high-end society, you will be treated beautifully; however, if you do not look right or know the right people you will be moved along very quickly and sometimes abruptly.

This, I feel, is the cause of most of the bad reviews below. I cannot see how anyone can say the food, service or the crowd is bad in this place. I do not go clubbing very much any more as I travel for business and age has made me a little lazy. however, I know who's who and can spot a bad crowd from a high-end one. This place has the best crowd I've seen, and I've been to Annabel's, Tramp or any of the other Cuckoo attempts.

Cuckoo has attention to detail and the staff are friendly and accommodating. This club may not be for everyone, but if you want to socialize with young aristos and Euro-cash and mix with the surnames you read about in Vogue, Harpers etc, then I see no other club that touches this one. I will be going back on Halloween, as I hear the fancy dress parties they do are incredible and have just purchased my membership. So to finish where I started, take bad reviews as bitter individuals who haven't made the cut. This place ticks all the boxes: great-looking women and men, fun and cool music, great decor and comfort, great service and awesome food (better than most restaurants).

Useful review? 1
 by mattrioni, 27 Oct 2007
Worst club ever - very poor service, generally rude staff, no soul (unless you're into small men without any rhythm. More like a school disco - very 'High School, the Musical', only uglier.

Useful review? 3
 by lolitias, 21 Oct 2007
Food is the best thing in this place. Best club with a great restaurant!

Useful review? 1
 by Peter B., 01 Oct 2007
Still the top club in London.

Useful review? 1
 by serena34, 29 Sep 2007
Absolutely horrendous place. Existing members are begining to look elsewhere, as this dump is just not worth it.

Useful review? 3
 by Joseph25, 27 Sep 2007
Amazing... the best place in London.

Useful review? 1
 by dinho, 31 Aug 2007


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