Reviews by bigdog

The Cuckoo Club (Members' Club)
30 June 2008

Simply the best club in London - good music, wonderful staff, superb food - I call this my second home. They don't tolerate idiots... and there's a lot of them that try and get in and don't succeed. Yes, you have to look 'cool' to get in, but that doesn't mean you have to wear Gucci or Prada or be carrying a wad of money - it's more of a cool vibe thing. Get there before 11pm and you stand more of a chance; arrive after 12 and you'll probably end up queuing the rest of the night.

The Square (Restaurant)
28 March 2008

I must have visited another restaurant tonight, comparing my experience against the reviewer's below! I took my parents and my partner to The Square to revisit a restaurant that they frequented some years before. Sadly, the experience was not a happy one.

Starters were decidedly average on the whole - langoustine (which was tasteless), foie Gois (very good), and a mushroom salad. For the main course I shared lamb with my partner, which we were presented with and which was then taken back to the kitchen to be carved. 15 minutes later the lamb arrived with the other main courses - both lamb courses were cold. I immediately called our waiter back, who said we would have to wait as his head waiter was dealing with a big problem! 5 minutes passed and eventually the head waiter came to our table. I told her that both our dishes were cold. She offered us another course but said it would be a further hour until it would be ready!! We declined. My parent's sea bass was apparently good but nothing out of the ordinary. We passed on dessert.

The bill arrived - £450 for a bottle of wine + 4 full meals, with no reduction for the main courses that we returned. The maitre 'd was called and I queried the bill. Here's the reply: "We offered to cook you another lamb, so it's your problem that you refused [by now it was 11.15pm]." They refused to give us any refund until I dug my heels in and refused to pay the bill. Eventually they removed the charges for the 2 main courses that we never had but - in French - called me a "f**king a**hole" and various other comments in the same vein. I speak perfect French and understood every word they said about me.

I have never had a more disappointing meal, nor have I ever experienced worse service than I experienced tonight. If you are looking to impress a business client, take them to Nobu or Sketch or Le Gavroche (a true 2-star restaurant). If you're looking to impress a partner, take them to Nobu or Locatelli's.

How this restaurant got 2 stars, I have no idea. A bad meal is excusable, but the way they treated us is totally unacceptable. I've had meals in the past at the very best restaurants in the world and occasionally something isn't quite right and there's never a question about it - either a reduction in the bill or an acceptable alternative is supplied.

Salvatore's (Bar)
09 February 2007

Best bar in London, worst membership and clientele.

FIFTY Below (Club)
09 February 2007

(No Comment)

Rama (Restaurant)
09 February 2007

Unfortunately the standards in the restaurant have gone dramatically downhill. The head chef left mid-2006 and it's never recovered. I used to eat there twice a week, but it's now such poor quality I've sworn never to go again.

FIFTY (Members' Club)
09 February 2007

One of the nicest venues in London but with quite possibly the worst membership! Unfortunately the club is a casino and the focus of the staff is on gambling, although 95% of the people there just seem to be interested in the bar. Very odd... Stay away from this place unless meeting old men and hookers is your thing.